Into the Silence
by Minmei
Summary: Rape doesn't always have to be violent. My take on 'that incident' between Sami and E.J. [warning: mature content]


Five minutes...that's all it would take.

At least, this is what she told herself. Anyone could endure five minutes, especially if it was to save the life of the one who mattered the most in the world. If Lucas could endure hours of being pinned to the floor by a heavy beam, then certainly she could endure five minutes...of this.

She continued the act of undressing herself as though it were routine; not in the sense that she had grown accustomed to doing the deed with strange men in cars, but routine in the sense that it was something that needed to be done. She trembled once or twice, knowing that E.J.'s eyes were following her hand movements hungrily. She didn't bother to look, however; just the mere sight of him sickened and frightened her all at the same time. There was a time she would have been eager to be in his embrace...that all changed the moment she saw a darker side to him, a side that was more than just heartless and cruel. It was the side of a man who would scheme to ruin the lives of peaceful citizens, while on the surface claiming to be their most trusted ally...a man who blackmailed and required the aid of weapons to gain assistance. This was not a man any woman wanted to be alone with...but Sami was willing to risk it if it meant saving Lucas' life.

Lucas...

She could still see him lying on the floor, unconscious, gradually drifting toward the afterlife if she was not quick enough. She had to focus. She had to save him...even if it meant E.J., a man she despised, having his way with her.

E.J. made his move, his predictability having been fully anticipated, yet it somehow seemed uncharacteristic for a son of DiMera, a criminal. He reached over with one hand, pulling at the seat switch. Sami twitched as his arm brushed across her stomach for a moment, and her shoulders completely tensed up, her elbows pressing into her sides. She let out a small gasp as E.J. managed to push the seat back, fully reclining it.

_Four._

E.J. finally came over, positioning himself above her. Sami caught a glimpse of his cold eyes before immediately looking away. If the eyes were indeed a window to the soul, she didn't need him penetrating hers, the way he intended her body.

"My dear, there's no need to be so tense," he said with a mechanical smile that seemed oblivious to the cruelty of this moment. He reached up with a hand and touched the woman's cheek. Such an act might have been appropriate between a couple in love, but despite any previous relationship they might have built, this was simply a forced arrangement between two people of different objectives...between the blackmailer and the blackmailed...the rapist and the rape victim. His hand was cold to the touch.

Sami continued trembling in fear as E.J.'s hand left her face and began to trail down her body. The icy feeling that had manifested below the nape of her neck seemed to mimic the man's moves, traveling parallel until it had spread to the small of her back. She didn't know why she was surprised; even if a DiMera extended the tiniest fragment of kindness through the most degrading and impossible of exchanges, there were still hidden prices to be paid. For Sami, it was her dignity...and she was not yet resolved to give that up.

E.J. was still touching her, his knuckle running along the curve of her breast. Though it was nothing more than physical reflex, she shuddered to his delight.

"Well, now, Samantha, are you certain it wasn't another lie? That, perhaps, you're enjoying this as much as I am?"

The blonde furiously swat away his hand in response. "Let's get one thing straight, E.J.," she hissed through gritted teeth. "Just the thought of you and me together makes me _sick_. So you can imagine what I have to do to keep from vomiting right now. There is no enjoyment on my part, and there never will be. I _hate_ you."

"Hate me or not, I'm still the only key to saving Lucas' life."

Sami immediately backed off, her expression grim. Though the idea angered her, she knew he was right. After all, it was the only reason she was with him.

_Three._

As he drew nearer, a voice inside Sami called to her in a panic. _Remove yourself,_ it warned. _Remove yourself from this horror_. But E.J. entered her before she could obey, another obstacle between her and her own sanity. And he made things worse by treating it as though it were a true lovers' tryst, as if neither the blackmail nor the act of holding a gun to her head ever occurred.

_Remove yourself. Remove yourself. **Remove yourself.**_

And so she retreated into the silence, into the deepest part of her, into a place that not even he could reach. In all the times her relationships had been uncertainties, the silence had always been there, constant and waiting to comfort her. It was the one thing she could depend on. And there she remained with all the protective walls around her, and did nothing else. While E.J. pushed himself inside of her, Sami lay there motionless, counting the minutes, praying for it to be over soon.

_Two._

She didn't cry out once as he quietly raped her. It wasn't that she had lost her voice; she simply couldn't use it at that moment, or risk losing Lucas forever to the bitterly cold night.

Though E.J. never once raised a hand to her, she had already been hurt by him in multiple ways. This wasn't at all how it was with Lucas, warm and loving and safe. Sami felt cold the entire time. Cold, and scared for various reasons. She couldn't help but compare this with the time she had been raped by Alan Harris. In some ways, she thought this was even worse; at least with Alan, she could say no. She could protest, even scream out loud. E.J., on the other hand, had maliciously made it so that there was a heavy price even on that luxury. Because of this, she would never get to say in a court of law that she had refused.

_One._

The only thing lending strength to her in the silence was hope. Small as it was, it was enough to keep her going, to get her through this entire ordeal, through the horrible incident with E.J. But the more her heart beat at the thought of saving Lucas, the more the guilt began to settle in. Just when she and Lucas had finally been blessed with another shot at their relationship, this had happened. Sami's thoughts returned to the moment their first wedding fell apart. At the time, Kate had schemed for Lucas to find Sami in bed with Brandon. Kate had drugged Sami and Brandon, so, of course, the two had never actually slept together. Sami had never cheated on the man she loved. It was strange. Despite all of Sami's schemes, this at least left Lucas with a peace of mind. Sami hated herself for the irony of her current predicament; now she really had lent her body to another man. And no matter how many times she told herself it was to save Lucas' life, the guilt returned to beat away those justifications with a vengeance.

E.J. released himself inside her just then, and Sami closed her eyes with a sigh of sadness. It was done. E.J. had gotten what he wanted, by taking advantage of an innocent woman's desperate situation. And despite the fact that Sami had resolved to endure these last few moments, the guilt and silent horror would remain with her for a lifetime. If she was pregnant, there was no doubt that E.J. would be in her life indefinitely. But even if she wasn't with child, there was much to be dealt with if anyone found out the truth. She could only imagine how disappointed her family would be to once again discover she had helped the DiMeras, and how sickened and devastated Lucas would be to learn she had indeed slept with another man, especially since that man was E.J.

Silence then gave way to the sound of E.J. chuckling and moving back to his seat. As Sami fully returned to her senses, she saw fresh snow hitting the windshield, and she knew it hadn't been a dream. Though she tried her hardest to fight it back, a single tear rolled down her cheek.

That's when she realized that the silence, along with E.J., had betrayed her.


End file.
